Below is an overview of Dean's emotional
philosophy and some examples of how he applies
that philosophy to certain emotions.
Emotional Philosophy
Generally we live in a culture that values
science, the human intellect and thinking above
most else (except football). However, my experience
with clients and a holistic perspective tells
us that we are made up of a number of parts
that are intimately connected and all have
an equal importance, value and impact on our
day-to-day life. So our emotions and our emotional
intelligence have as much impact on our daily
life as our intellectual intelligence.
In fact, I have come to believe that our emotions
are the glue that connects the parts of us
together and if something is wrong with our
emotional world, every other part of our life
is affected. You can probably think of a time
in your life when this was the case for you.
This also explains why when you see a practitioner
that does not focus on your emotions you only
get minimal change and often revert to old
patterns.
This does not mean the Emotional Coaching
Program ignores your thoughts and beliefs,
your physical health or the environment. As
indicated above, these areas have as much impact
on our regular life as emotions. If required
I will also focus on these area in your program.
I find that the emotional part is often the
hardest to change and usually where significant
problems lie, which have a profound impact
on our lives. Unfortunately many clients and
therapists neglect or don’t have the
skills to focus on the emotional component
to health and healing. This is why I focus
on this area so specifically.
Below are some of the underlying philosophies
that make up the Emotional Coaching program:
- Emotions are a form of intelligence that
we all need to be successful in life
- Emotions often support and allow our other
forms of intelligence to be expressed
in the real world. For example we all know
someone who is very smart academically or
a skilled athletically, however, they never
manage to reach their potential in the real
world. Often these people have quite low
emotional intelligence
- Emotions are designed to make life easier
and enhance life
- Emotions have the capacity to influence
every part of us, so we need to take
a holistic approach when treating emotions
- Emotions have messages that we need to
listen to and act upon
- We are not our emotions
- No emotion is bad
- One dimensional
beliefs about emotions do not work
(For example “anger is bad”)
as we always experience emotions
in a context and relationship,
and sometimes anger is the best
response
- You must feel an emotion to change
it
- All emotions have a beginning, middle
and end
- Emotions can be used intelligently
Fear and Anxiety
Fear and anxiety are my favorite emotion and
probably the most misunderstood of all the
human emotions. I have a lot of interest in
fear and anxiety because it is the emotion
that I used to have the most trouble with and
it was while studying fear and anxiety that
I discovered most of the concepts that are
now part of the emotional coaching program.
Many people come to my practice seeking help
with their fear and anxiety, and often they
begin by asking me to help them to get rid
of it or express how much they hate their fear
and anxiety because of the negative impact
it has had on their life.
The first thing they learn is that I cannot
help them to get rid of their fear and anxiety
(it is actually impossible to eradicate anxiety
or fear from our life). To remove their fear
and anxiety would actually be quite dangerous.
The second thing they learn is that fear and
anxiety is not the problem; it is actually
there to help, guide and protect them. When
you know how your fear and anxiety can become
a powerful force in your life, it can actually
make you more successful, happy and healthy
(people often consider this to be insane, as
you may also be thinking right now if you suffer
with anxiety).
If you are participating in the Emotional
Coaching Program because you are struggling
with anxiety or fear, to begin you will be
shown how to notice and tolerate anxiety in
your body then how to regulate it more effectively.
You will then be shown how to understand the
underlying causes of your fear and anxiety
and finally how to use this emotion as a powerful,
positive force in your life.
Anger
Anger is an emotion that is labeled as “bad”,
however anger is the same as any other emotion.
It has a useful purpose that when understood
and managed correctly can be quite useful and
positive.
Optimism, Compassion and Empathy
It is quite common to try and think you way
out of an emotional problem, however this
does not always work. Recent research has
shown us that it can often be more effective
to use another emotion to transform the
emotion you are struggling with. This is where
optimism, compassion and empathy come in, these
emotions can be used to transform, physical,
intellectual and emotional difficulties. This
is another component of the Emotional Coaching
Program.
If you would like further information about
how Dean would work with the specific emotion
you are having difficulties with he can be
contacted on 9384 2700 or email Emotional
Coaching
